Several hours before 2011... I Feel like...

Eating...

But... I don't know what to eat...

Right about now... a plate of pasta would be......... Nais...

BUT... I am lazy to cook.

Maybe...

Owh bloody hell... I don't know what to eat...

Wedges!!! But... buttttt... have to draive!!!!!

DAMMIT!

I will come up with a seconds after New year post tonight... while at work... with my friends and colleagues...

Until then...

Squat and Lunges

Two more moves that can be done, with great care, while one is pregnant are:

• Squat
• Lunges

(Honestly, I hate them. But they really do work wonders… But that does not mean I have to love them. I still hate them. I complain every time Mr. Trainer asked me to do it. The more he knows I hate them, the more he ask me to do them.)

Why do I say “WITH GREAT CARE”? Because, as you grow into your pregnancy, your balance and equilibrium are challenged. If you were not exercising frequently before, and do movement that increase your ability to balance and increase your muscle strength, you will wobble when you perform these two movement.

I am happy to say that my balance is still good at 34 weeks of pregnancy. I can stand on one feet, and I can still do the yoga tree pose! Yeay for me!

To help with balance, while doing squat, you could hold on to the back of a chair, or if you are really a beginner, support your back by standing against the wall. Make sure you have chairs on your right and left side to hold on to, just in case.

When doing squat make sure your knees are bent at 90 degrees angle. Do not let your knee to move further from your toes. Go as low as you can. As much as you can, keep your back straight, that’s why having a wall behind you is easier. Otherwise, let your body bend forward only slightly. I find putting my arms at 45 degrees angle helps to better position my torso as well as balancing. You might want to try that. For extra resistance, hold on to a pair of light dumb-bells.

Lunges is more of a challenge as you get heavier. Use support if you are not sure of your balancing ability. Seriously. Use it.

Although this movement looks simpler than squat, trust me it’s not. Again, be careful not to over-extend your front knee. Make sure it is at 90 degrees angle. If you cannot bend as low, it’s okay, just go to the maximum you can. As you progress, you will in time, improve. 

So, these are some of the moves that I do to keep my legs strong, and hopefully to ensure my thighs do not enlarge more than they need to! I have big task in front of me once I finished my confinement next year. My target is to lose all my pregnancy weight within three months and go back to my pre-wedding weight (between 55kg – 58kg) in three months after that.

I know I have to be patient. It takes me 9 months to complete the full pregnancy weight gain, so it’ll take me as much to lose them. But I can speed it up with good diet and consistent exercise. I must.

Inspiracionale!

Recently, my co-author YM'd me a and we were OMG-ing on Kelly Osbourne.

She is the cover girl on January's Shape Magazine and she looked AWESOME.

I mean, look :

Unlike her mother, Sharon Osbourne who had to undergo a gastric bypass, she chose to exercise and to eat right. You don't have any idea how much that has inspired me.

Seriously, to see another fellow female to achieve such drastic change, feels good because in turn, it can give me more inspiration for me to follow suit.

This is my progress as of now. I have been slacking a lot, due to my hectic job schedule and all, but compared to back then (I do not take any photos in a bikini or gym bra when I was fat), this is a HUGE change for me.

Of course, I still have fat on my tum tum, ass, hips and the irritating sag under my arms... but I am hoping I will be able to zap it all off in time.

My co - author thinks that I have done enough. I think I just need to re-educate myself.

Re-educating...

Do Your Kegel!

I have been absent for a long, long time. My co-author feels it is such a waste that we have the blog here and I’m not updating it. True, I must say. But in my defense, more of an excuse actually, my current condition makes me “lazy” to update this blog. Just because I no longer visit the gym.

You see, I am now into my 32nd week of pregnancy. And I have not been to the gym eversince my trainer kicked me out when I went to see him, with gym bag on my shoulder, and told him I have a bun in the oven. :-p

Anyway, for this post, I’d like to share with you one exercise that any women can do, even when she’s pregnant. Yup, you know it! The Kegel Exercise.

Kegel is something that you can do anytime, anywhere. No one will know it but you. What you do is actually do a muscle contraction as if you’re stopping your urine flow. If you have not done this exercise before, it’s best to practice while you’re doing your business… Seriously. MayoClinic explains in detail including how to recognise which muscle to activate. But easier method is to practice while you’re in the loo.

Anyway these are amongst the benefit of doing Kegel:

• Strengthen your pelvic floor muscle which supports the uterus, bladder and bowel
• Said to enhance experience in the sack (he he he)

So, you can see why this exercise is beneficial for pregnant women too! This matter was stressed by the nurse in the antenatal class that I attended.

Food Journal... Shournal!

One of the things that I kind of (sort of?) resolved to do in FB was to come up with a food journal.

Yes.  A food journal detailing every single thing I ate for every single day, for every single meal.

That was two weeks ago. So far, I have only managed to come up with two journals on FB.

I continued on writing on my FB note, not of my food journal, but on things that don't matter.

IE --- Talking cock.

Yesterday, I was seen at Ikea racing through my meatballs dish because I was feeling lightheaded.

Light headed because I realized that I didn't eat for the whole entire time I was at work from 9.30 pm - 7 am and from the time I woke up from 3.30 pm - 7 pm.

Except for some butter crackers and a big mug of milk tea, I didn't have anything in between.

Suffice to say that I SUCK at planning my meals.

Most of the time I missed my meals because I was busy with work, tired with work and / or just plain clueless on what to eat.

If I ever decided to go out for my meals, I would stand there in the middle of nowhere, trying to decide on what to eat.

"Let's see now... Char Koay Teow? No, don't feel like having seafood... Ooh... what about steak? Too heavy... RICE... errr.. no, conflict of goals, coffee... bagel... wait is that food...=_=..."

Yes, I do need help. All the more now that I am supposed to start my Muay Thai again next year.

Food journal... what to journal about when I don't have FOOD...

Oi Vey!

Eat, Pray, Love, YOGA

Good morning everyone.

To all Yoga practitioners, have a slammin' Surya Namaskara everyone!

Puasa workout

Ramadhan work out

It is a great big misconception that people has to stop working out during Ramadhan (Fasting month).

Although, we do have to stick to a less vigorous workout routine.

For me, Yoga is my first choice.

My visit to the gym will be pretty much minimal this month. It doesn't mean that I am going to stop completely.

Are you kidding? I would lose my sanity if I stop. Working out is a way for me to destress, like how I am using my 10 mins break right now to update this blog.

So to all the Muslims, don't let the Ramadhan be in the way of keeping yourselves healthy. Afterall, you must be healthy if you want to 'beribadah' right?

Have a blessed Ramadhan everyone!

SHAPE Night Run update and Emotional Health

Update on the Shape Night Run.

Unfortunately, due to some unplanned events on the familia side, I won't be able to join Mas and Jade despite having suggested it in the first place.

I was mad because well, I did pay and I have been training my ass off to get ready for my first 5K run.

Plus I felt guilty that I was not able to follow through with something that I have planned in the first place.

On the plus side (although it didn't really help me with my guilt), Jade managed to redeem my goodie bag for me. Still, I wanted to run, I was so looking forward for the event.

On another note, lately I have been focusing so much on physical health, that I sort of forget about my emotional health.

Being single for about 4 years now, I found myself to be a reluctant recipient for any relationships.

I guess anyone who is single would agree with me that sometimes, not having anyone to fall back to is just plain, depressing.

Years ago, I have never had an issue about getting anyone. Dates were something of a normality and although the dates would usually have a disastrous end, I was open and totally, well... accepting that some men are just bad at dates and I have yet to find men who can be comfortable with me.

Now, I don't even get to meet men. Most of the men who came on to me turned me off and those who actually had the guts to ask me out on a date failed miserably in a sense that all they were interested in was to get into my pants, faster than you can say G-Spot.

Also, my relationship with my family had been stagnant.

I didn't grow up in the typical loving family kind of sense.

Sure my parents loved me, but we don't express our love that openly. I always wondered why is it that during solemnization ceremonies, why was it that the mother /bride/father would cry their eyeballs out. They should be happy, right?

I can't relate to tears of happiness, only tears of sadness and frustration makes sense. I don't even cry at funerals.

So does that make me abnormal in terms of my emotions? I have an unhealthy emotional upkeep and a fit physical exterior.

I am hiding behind a wall that I built as a defense mechanism because my last relationship experiences had been nothing short of a pathetic attempt at not being myself?

I don't know. I can be wrong at this of course.

I know what I need to do as far as physical health is concerned. Looks like I won't be having quite a normal emotional health for many years to come, unless, I guess, if God is going to be kind to me.

Of the 'desire' to lose weight...

Once in a while, my friends would complain to me about their ballooning weight.

They told me about their fear of turning to Roseanne Barr or John Goodman.

They will also tell me about their diets. The meal skipping, the 'eat nothing but a god damn apple' for the whole day and wallop a big plate of pasta for dinner (Before 8 pm nevertheless), the boxes of diet supplements they take to make sure that their ass do not form their own country.

And everytime they told me of these 'attempts', I would smile and say :

"It will not work. You might lose the weight, but you will never be able to sustain the loss... unless you exercise."

I am a big believer of exercise. I did lose 12 KGs after busting my ass in the gym for the last year afterall.

I was 68 kg when I first started. Now I am a healthy 56 KG. I have been at this weight for the last 4 months. I intend to lose 2 more KGs. My ideal weight is at 52 KG.

Of course, it took a lot of effort. I don't eat rice everyday, substituting it with Durum wheat pastas, oats and vegies. I don't eat fast food often (Actually, I try to stop eating it altogether.) and only cook my meals with Olive oils.

I work out in the gym 5 days a week and now I am trying to get back to the normal 6 days a week routine. Instead of focusing on weight loss, I am now concentrating more on muscle sculpting and toning and also core strength training.

I buy all kinds of fitness magazines, mainly for all the exercise moves they have in it and the healthy living tips articles.

I know this is cliched but it does feel good to be healthy. Of course, I have my problems.

I still have difficulties getting 8 hours of sleep everynight (or day, considering my schedule), of eating enough food to fulfill the 2800 cal/day to fuel my workout (I am known as anorexic mainly because sometimes, I really seriously do not know what to eat and therefore would just NOT eat... which is bad.) and I still have difficulties running the extra mile without getting muscle pains and sores.

That said, I seriously do not believe that any other methods could actually work. Exercise and a balanced diet (Not starving yourself, mind you.) is the best option.

I would also tell my friends that if they have the 'desire' to lose weight, they should have the 'determination' to do it 'properly' too.

To stop complaining and be deluded with fad diets and false claims of supplement boxes would do them well too.

Fuh.. fuh... Flat... -__________-'

The first time I succeeded brisk walking on the treadmill for 3 KMs, I was astounded. 

I finished at 30:31. That was faster than even I would anticipate, at 6KM speed. 

To me, 3 KM seemed like a big deal. I know friends who's been doing 7 KMs everyday on the treadmill. I have always been in awe of that. 

But me, I have never been a brisk walker/runner. In my previous post, I reflected at how I actually hated running. All my life, I would avoid my turn at the 100 M sprint by faking a headache or menses cramps. 

And oh how I hated the cross country shit my boarding school used to have on a weekly basis. If you are a Johorean, that you would know that running through a kampung backroad from Teknik Perdagangan in Tasek Utara, coming out all the way at Sek. Tun Fatimah, pass the Asrama Putera, going up the wretched hill pass the education ministry..... is a BITCH!

I hated the seniors at school for having us run so that they can walk. I hated the school for having that stupid activity every week!

So when I see my time for that mileage, I was stunned. I found myself thinking... wth.. 'vart' am I doing??? Am I high on something?

Except for the 100 plus I would usually gurgle for fun drink in the gym, nothing that would get the narcotics suspicious.

I remarked in my FB how I am now crazy over shorts and short dresses... I love the way my legs look like now. They used to be nicknamed 'Thunderthighs'... 

Now they are maybe mini Thunderthighs. 

I still need to keep on working on them. I can't just sit and be satisfied with my huge weight loss. Weight loss is one thing, I would like my body to be toned and my fitness level up!

... So that I can look back and say that I am just glad I did this. :)

Progress... running's a bitch!

I have been running on the treadmill for 2.5 KMs steadily for the past two weeks.

I started with a brisk walk of course.

I hated running. You see, tennis doesn't really require you to run that much. With softball, I am pretty much the pitcher/catcher. I hate being the batter.

Because... I am bad at running.

So it was a big decision when I enrolled for a 'run'. Mainly because, I am really just bad at running.

I don't have any breathing problems but I do have ankle and knee pain when I am running. I hate that.

A 5 mins run is torture to me. So when I actually ran for 8 full minutes at 7.0 KM speed, it is a big deal.

So far, I have clocked at these times for a standard 2.5 KM run.

20:14
20:16
21:05

This means, I should be able to complete a 5KM run, at an average of 6.5 KM speed, at 43 minutes max, that's less than an hour.

This is a really big deal to me.  Once upon a time ago, I took 2 hours to complete a 3 KM run.

But then, it was also because, I did not really run the run... I walked. I didn't even brisk walk, I just walk... the leisure no rush walk. The window shopping kind of walk.

And there were people who finished after me. :D

So now, after working out for a year and lost a chunk of weight, I am now attempting something that I have never liked.

Running. And it's a bitch!

Yoga-ta be real la

I practiced Yoga the first time around because I was told that it could help me with my body. 

See, I have always wanted to be fitter. I grew up being pampered in a way by my parents. We love to eat. And so, one thing leads to another. Although I was reasonably active as far as group sports are concerned, I hated any other sports that requires me to run faster than I should. 

My first yogi was a middle aged Indian man. He thought us how to breath, how to control our bodies. Bhujangsana and all kinds of other positions that I cannot remember now. For a short 5 months, I did Yoga and enjoyed it immensely, although I didn't know if I was any more fitter than I was. 

After that, I changed jobs and was involved in a bit of a mess and so I quit.

That was my mistake.

I was not really thinking of having a hobby or doing anything else when I moved to KL. I was kind of... depressing back then.

All changed when I decided to change my lifestyle and started gym.

The gym has all kinds of group exercise classes that we can join. One of the classes being Yoga. 

So I got re-acquainted with it in gym. However, after that, I concentrated on my PT (personal training) sessions and had no time to join the class. 

Now my Yogi is a man in his 50's or 60's, with an easy going disposition who enjoys kind of 'shocking' newcomers to the wonders of Yoga. 

Yoga is more difficult than it looks. And painful too, but not if you are used to it. 

Somehow, my body quickly recognizes the old movements that I used to do back then and I did it with zero difficulties. 

I am seeing stars again. Oih...

To prep for the run in July, I started to test my lame stamina by training more than usual.

Things was going fine for a while, and then my period came.

This time, the pain was a bit too much even for me to take. I was weak, my back was killing me and my tummy felt hollow, together with migraine. And of all times, I also got ulcers in my mouth. I felt tired all the time.

My moodswings... murderous.

Strangely, my hair looked fab.

I missed training for about 4 days now. I don't know if I am able to train on the weekends. If the pain subside, then maybe I would just be in the gym. If not, I am afraid I will have to reset my training plans.

I am however, loving the way my arms have turned out as a result of intensive upper body workouts. It's my favorite workout, biceps, triceps, lat and shoulders. My shoulders look gorgeous and my collarbone fabulous!

I still have friends who thinks working out is a waste of time. They kept on telling me that it is way easier for people to just go to all those weight management clinics to lose weight.

What they don't understand is that losing weight is not my only priority. I want to be toned, healthy, fit with a reasonable looking feminine muscles to show off.

My idea of an awesome body?

Now these are awesome bodies. Stick thin models don't rule my world.

Test run (Literally)

My last run was a charity marathon for an event that I forgot in JB.

This was about 5 years ago. It was a 7 KM run and at that time, I was actually kind of forced to go because the company I worked for sponsored some of the prizes. It also served as a division activity that our Boss enrolled us for.

I didn't care if I get there first or last. I was huffing and puffing, and cursing! All the way! All that mattered to me was to get to the finishing line so I can just STOP running.

Of course back then, fitness was the last thing on my mind. I was preoccupied with a sucky boyfriend and relationship. I was the last thing in my mind, which is kind of pathetic, come to think of it.

So because I am now a brand new person with new priorities which has nothing to do with men, relationships, sex or whatever crap that I was so stupidly obsessed with, I decided to join this :

*Image taken from www.shape.com.my

This means that I have to prep for the run. I have to up my workout and get ready in 2 months. I have to improve on my cardio and strength training. I want to take it seriously this time, and as much as I think it would be fun having a running mate, I would like to try to at least be less playful.

And no cussing while running! I figure if I can make a 1.5 KM in 10 minutes on the treadmill, it wouldn't be a problem for me to finish a 5 KM run.

Plus... I know it will be a whole load of fun. I asked around in my FB if there's anyone interested to join.

This would also mean I would have to go to Jalan Hang Jebat tomorrow to register. And no... I don't know where that is.

I don't know how many people read this blog... this is the info on the run :

Or go to www.shape.com.my for more details.

Oh by the way, there are RM 300 worth of stuff in the goodie bag that you stand to get when you sign up. :)... I am sure any woman wouldn't say no to heaps of free stuff!!!! Take it as a motivation to join. Hahahahaha!

Yes, I am going!

Yes! I am going to the gym today.


It looks like my buddy Sarcy is like a speedy bullet train when it comes to gymming! And I am like a choo-choo. Hinsh! And being married has nothing to do with it. Just because work takes me far away from the gym vicinity.


So, since I am in the office today, I cannot let the chance pass me by. I am committed for an hour of cardio and weigh training.


I did not call Mr. Trainer this morning to arrange for a session. Because I am almost sure he will not be available. It seems like he's not excited to train me anymore. Everytime I call for a session, he has his hours booked. Hmm... Time to change Mr. Trainer? I think he's just given up hope on me. And I still have about 20 sessions with him!


So, see your sweats later!


p/s: I own a new pair of sports shoes; lighter and more comfortable

:P

I think... and I think....

I kind of overdid the weights yesterday.

My biceps are sore and I am currently wearing the medicinal muscle plaster.

That's why I decided to take a day off  today. I think there is a possibility I might just lose my footing on the treadmill during my usual 2 minutes sprint.

Sprint... heh... that's a joke. Hopefully by this time next year, I will be able to join a marathon challenge of more than 5 kilos.

Hey... I am working towards that goal kan.

Fitness plan

I have always hated how I would feel so tired by the end of my day (My day is everyone else's night) that I wouldn't have the strength and energy to work out.

With a reason too. I love working out. I hate missing one day of gym. (The other thing would be because I don't believe in paying for something without using it).

So I planned to buy some food stuff to put in the office.

Things like bread, cheese, cold cuts, oatmeal, cereal low fat milk, soy. Energy boosters I can prepare before I leave the office and head on to the gym.

I don't want to take breakfast outside because breakfast outside always got me more tired and lazy.

Yesterday I worked with only a can of Iced lemon tea as sustenance. I didn't even realize it until the end of the day.

Not good. I need to eat to workout. Rule of thumb numero uno.

On the road to a bikini ready bod... ;)

My 


Bum 


Hurts... 

Ugh!

I hate it when my monthly 'flag' comes.

I feel slobbish, I feel heavy, I feel tired and I feel bitchy! I had to drag myself to go and do my stuff and I can't exercise...

That's the worst thing. I thought exercise is supposed to make me feel better.

*Crying.. sob sob...*

Ugh!

Hmm

I hate cardio.

I am not much of a runner... so huffing and puffing at speed level 7 for a 2 KM run on the treadmill is torture enough for me.

My short term goal? To finally be able to run at speed level 7 for 6-7 km is good enough...

But I still would not stop hating cardio. :(

:P~

Three days of turbulence training...

That's exactly how my face looked like sideways after a 30 seconds bridging.

:P~

Just a thought...

1) Chocolates fight UTI (urinary Tract Infection). I will have to force feed myself chocolates then (Yes... might one of the women in the world who never cares about chocolates, guessing, that's less than 15-10%)

2) Ironically, cheese (Taken in moderation, of course.) fights heart disease and actually blocks cholesterol build up.

3) People thought that people who goes to the gym are on cayenne pepper and lemon diet. Gym goers eat. And we need to eat a lot. Unless we want to attract unwanted attention by fainting on the treadmill.

4) Weights don't churn uber muscular arms. Just nicely toned carved out healthy and delicious Nike mannequin looking ones.

5) Yoga, does calm you down. And Namaste at the end of the session means 'NOTHING' whatsoever. Namaste is the equivalent of our salam, which literally means it's a greeting.

6) You can only be in peace with others when you are in peace with yourself.

Have a great fit day everyone!

Satu Usul...

For those who works out in the gym.

If you find more than two people walked away from the stretching area because you happened to be in the same area (say... 5 feet radius?), I hope you will ask your friends if you have Body Odor problem.

Seriously, I am a fairly tolerant person, but when it comes to inhaling your overpowering acidity content...

I am only human. There is only that much I can tolerate.

To Keep Going On

The Hubby says that I look hotter and gorgeous these days... Ehem... This must means whatever it is that I'm doing is working. OR he is just being a nice husband that he is to make me feel better. Ha ha ha... But I'm all about being full of myself, so I shall take the former as the truth.


Honestly, I hardly eat dinner these days. If I feel hungry, I make a glass of hot milk. And maybe just a slice of bread. Plain without any toppings. I try to take fruits everyday. A banana a day. Otherwise I'm drinking more juice. 


I am not a saint. I treat myself constantly whenever I feel like it. Cheese cake. Smoothies. Ice cream. Name it, I eat it.


My gym session is reduced to maybe once or twice a week, sometimes none, depending on my work location. Haih... But maybe starting from next week, it will be more coordinated and I will be able to schedule the sessions properly. Hopefully.


When I'm at the gym, knowing how infrequent my visits are, I do my best to push myself as hard as I could. Cardio and strength training. Everytime. I do lots of squat movement. I try to do more reps with medium weight. 


It's time to resume my kick boxing workout, actually. Mr Trainer has voiced his "concerns" few times already. :-p

Yumm

If you are like me who goes to sleep at 10 am and waking up at 8.30 pm, your 'breakfast' would be :

Kellogg's Fitnesse cereal and bananas plus soy milk.

I huff and I puff.. Never mind as long as I stay skinny

Okay, maybe skinny is not quite the 'right' word.

Make it.... healthier...

Or... Slimmer.

Yes.

Had a good workout. 10 minutes on the treadmill, 8.0 gradient and 6.0 speed.

Worked my arms, abs, thighs and buttocks.

I can lift an 8 pounder now while doing full lunges by 20 reps.

Not that is anything by a fitter person's standard.

Must rush... am using the gym's free broadband!

Daaaa!

I am GUILTY!!!

I have been guilty.

Not only because I have not being updating this blog. BUT also for not going to the gym. NOPE!! I have not been doing my gym regime regularly. And I have a reason (EXCUSES!!) for that.

For the past several weeks, I have not being 100% happy, because my other half is outstation. He still is until probably middle of June. So, yeah, my emotional state has not been at its optimum condition. And then, there's the job. My current schedule is so crazy that I do not know when I will be in the office.

Anyway, excuses aside, I need to set new schedule for my gym sessions. I cannot consider weekend, since there will be a lot of things to be done during that short two days. So, I still need to find time during weekdays. I will make it work somehow.

:-(

Counting calories is no human instinct..

Nope.

If there were any cave woman who actually counted calories, please do tell me, because I need to know.

Since I started gym, I have been getting these sudden cravings for stuff that I used to have everyday, without even thinking about the repercussion of what it might do to my body.

Things like this sinfully delicious steamed Hainanese Chicken Rice.

I grew up loving food. My family is a mix of both spicy Malay and Chinese food. I love my spices as much as I love my garlic.

I had to cook an entire meal at dinner because my Mum used to work and only came home after 7 pm. Rice is a staple dish that we had and on days when I wouldn't feel like cooking, I would walk down to the chicken rice stall and bought packed rice for my siblings.

My Grandma was possibly one of the best cook I knew. As a child, I remembered going over to her 'warung', where she would pick me up to sit on her counter, and almost always, my grandparents would make sure I have my drumstick. Huge, greasy... yeap... I was a happy fat kid. (I think).

Rice is somewhat my comfort food. When I was working in the pressure cooker of a profession a few years ago, I sought solace in food.

When I first moved to KL, intense training had me eating rice for lunch and dinner. Also I was living with my auntie, who is a great cook and saying no to her cooking would be, I guess at that time, sheer madness.

Afterall, would you say no to steamed rice and the fattening glory of 'ayam masak lemak cili padi'?

This was me, a couple of years ago, I was the one in the purple sweater :

I looked like I have had 6 kids.

So you can't blame me for counting calories now. After losing all the KGs and have defiantly fought all odds, this would be the last time you would see me looking like a mess.

True enough.. this is what I look like, now, lighter, saner, albeit, healthier :

So, I might have the Hainanese steamed chicken, without the skin, with glass noodles and loads of salad and having it with green tea.

Life is unfair... face it. However, it is unfair because it was trying to be fair.

Think about it.

Counterdepressant that is exercise

Last weekend was the breaking point for me.

One, I was at work from 4.30 pm to 2.00 am and then had to come in again because of emergency at 4.30 am.

Really, having a blackberry changes your life. It sucked to have one, at the same time, you are dead if you don't have it.

Two, I was also at the same time scrambling to move to the new place. I was not having enough time to pack my stuff and was far from packed.

Three, well... this happened on Sunday and is totally not worth mentioning here.

But the fact remained. The whole work issue got me feeling depressed and I was walking around feeling like a classic fool. I was questioning my credibility at work and my ability and whether or not I am actually good at my work... or not.

I went through the bloody interview with my boss's boss for crying out loud. Apparently I impressed that guy so much that I was picked.

But... yes... I was depressed. I took Xanax and can hardly smile or laugh. Heck... can't even cry properly.

Thankfully, the moving really took my mind off stuff. The climbing up 2 storeys for maybe a combined 7 times to and fro tested both my mental and my stamina. All that wearing a 1.5 inch wedges and halter neck dress.

I carried all 20 boxes of my shoes, my whole collection of handbags and messenger bags, my books, bookcase, comforter, pillows and other stuff that I have accumulate during my stay at the old place.

I was, for once... sweating like a pig. Seriously.

I feel like I have thighs of steel by the time the whole moving was done.

Of course it would be madness if I am to go for gym the next day, so I didn't. And yes, I was still depressed. I was still feeling like one big bag of messed up shit. So later that night, after a fucked up episode, and banana leaf rice session, I took valium and went to sleep.

The day after, while on break and was staring down 16 floors from my office, I was actually thinking how it would feel like to... well.. jump. How it'd be like to just fall.

Well.. I was curious.. didn't think of it as suicidal. Just thinking how it would feel like. Yes I was still depressed, but was not thinking about ending my life and shit. Maybe I should bungy jump one of these days, or slack the tension during wall climbing.

The next day, thanks to whoever it was cooking tonnes of dried fish downstairs, I woke up and was awake for a good 20 minutes before deciding that I should go to the gym and make good use of my awake time.

So... I did :

- 50 floors of stepper in 10 minutes,
- 1 rep of 20x on leg press (weight : 70KG) and single leg press (30KG).
- 1 rep of 20x arm press (weight : 7 pounds) on Bosu pad
- 1 rep of half push up on bosu pad : 15x
- 1 rep of half push up : 10 times
- 1 rep of alternate leg kicks : 10x

I was pressed for time so, hence the 1 rep of everything. And also because most machines are occupied and there were a lot of people in the gym at that hour and I was starting to feel a bit... suffocated.

And after a vegan wonton noodle meal, I felt so much better. I was even thinking about cutting down on meat and re-starting Yoga.

And while I admit that I am still very much dependent on my anti depressants, exercise is.. ladies and gents, one of the things that work if you want a 'peace of mind', to help keep you sane.

The temple is my own

I forgot how much I enjoyed working out.

I have been slacking for the past couple of months. I have been busy at work and due to my new position in the division, I have to put in more hours just so the division would be running just the way I'd like it to be run.

But I decided that slacking around and feeling fat is no way to live. So recently, I started to go the gym more than the usual 2 days a week routine, which was actually a major cutdown from the normal 6 days a week routine I had before I was promoted.

I decided to double my workout and make it more intense. I sweated out it out doing double reps of core strength training and double my cardio workout as well.

I love sweating. If you know me in person, I don't sweat as much as I should. So the expression, sweating like a pig honestly does not really apply to me that much.

Initially when I started gym, I was quite conscious about my surroundings. I was concerned about how other people see me.

Now, the gym is one of the few places aside from my office that I would have no qualms going to without having any shred of make up on my face. Au Naturel, that's me in the gym. 

Besides, my only purpose in joining the gym is to make me a lean mean machine. I don't need to meet new people and most of the guys who goes to the gym are gays anyway.

My motivation nowadays is knowing that I am responsible for my own health and my own body.

My body is truly my own temple.

Today's work out :

Stairmaster 50 floors in 13 minutes.

Bicep curl and Lat curl : 2 reps of 16s
Tricep curl : 2 reps of 16s (having problem with left hand though... particularly tough)
Lunges with 8lb weights : 2 reps of 16s
Half push up on Bosu Pad : 2 reps of 15
Half push up without Bosu Pad : 2 reps of 10

Reclining Tricep curls on ball : 2 reps of 16's each horizontal and vertical
Full squats with ball : 2 reps of 16s
Bicep curl on machine : 2 reps of 16s each side
70lbs thigh reclining exercise on machine : 2 reps of 16s.

Tread mill, slow jog at 6.5; 5 mins.

On my 2 GB MP3 player :

Alicia Keys :
Wreckless love
I need you
Love is Blind

John Legend : 
Green Light - Feat Andre 3000
No Other Love - Feat Estelle
Satisfaction

Joss Stone:
Bad Habit
Music
Tell me what you Gon' do - feat Common

Jay - Z :
On to the next one
Alicia Keys

Beyonce : 
Get me Bodied
Upgrade U

Seriously, great music gets you going like an Energizer bunny!

Don't Cheat!

Well, people! I am back from my wedding vacation, and may I confidently say that I looked good in my wedding get-ups! However, festive vacations normally will destroy your diet plans and obviously your exercise regimes! I did not work out for almost six weeks and it showed!

As soon as I was able to get back to the gym, I renewed my personal training sessions. This time I bought 25 sessions which also include kick-boxing sessions. I don't have regrets eventhough my whole body is sore every time. Kick boxing really proves a total body workout!

I still have 4 free sessions from the last package and 6 more additional sessions for this time around. I am going to make the most out of these sessions!

Let me share with you a little insight.

NEVER CHEAT YOUR BODY!

This is a rule that I made up for myself. When I say not to cheat, it is not related to eating. If you tell yourself that you are going to run for 10 minutes non-stop, do it. Never run more than 10 minutes, and never run less than 10 minutes. Treat your body and your mind like children. Don't cheat or lie, because if you do more than what you first planned, you will not achieve your target.

So what I do is, when I get tired or bored or lazy on the treadmill, I tell myself that I'm going to complete the 10 minute set and rest for 30 seconds to one minute. After the rest period, I will start running again. The moment I start to feel lazy, I again tell myself that I will complete another set. By doing this, I keep on moving, and did not realise the distance and timing.

These days I try to make sure I run at least 2 kms everytime, but mostly I will be doing 3kms. I try not to look at the time so much, because I will start thinking that I've worked enough when in fact, I don't burn much calories yet!

This time around, I have decided to slot in gym time every day during the weekdays and alternate with the personal training. I shall keep you posted!